My Speech: Fear to Freedom at my event 'Empowered Women Unite' at the Presidents' Palace in Malta, March 2018.
Do you know that we are born with only two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises? Now if anyone had to ask me what I am afraid of, I wouldn’t say of falling or of loud noises. As an online entrepreneur and on becoming a life coach, helping women succeed in their life and in their businesses, I felt that I needed to face my own fears in order to be able to help others.
Growing up as a child, as a teenager and later as a young adult, I always looked at fear as a weakness. I was a perfectionist. I never put my hand up in class, in fear of being wrong. I really tried not to address my fears and my negativities. But little did I know that; like a battery - there is both a positive side and a negative one. We need both sides to survive and function as a fully balanced human being. I myself always tried to focus on the positive and suppress those negative feelings and emotions. This realisation came about following the numerous times in which I tried not to cry, to continually be strong until one day I just collapsed. I was sitting on my couch at home, and I missed my grandma so much that it hurt! The pain was unbearable. I felt I could not control my emotions anymore and in one way or another, they needed to come out. As usual, I did not allow myself to miss her or cry for her much, so at her passing anniversary it was so intense that I felt that my heart hurt. That is why I set on this adventure to ‘Face my own fears’, as I am aware that there are other women out there who feel that continuing to carry their pains is unbearable.
Through lived experience, I have now become aware and strongly feel that when we, as women, show our weaknesses, we show that we are real. Everyone has weaknesses. I am not good at everything and that’s okay, because you are there and you can do your thing.
I discovered that by being vulnerable we can actually heal ourselves.
My biggest fear was to speak about my late grandmother in public. This made me very vulnerable, because every time I did that - my voice cracked, my eyes would well up and I felt very weak. I always tried to hide this, suppress it and push it down. But I made a decision to face this fear wholly and allow myself to be vulnerable to be able to help others go through this and live better lives.
So I went to a place where I remember very vivid memories of her. I had gone to Paris with her when I was eight years of age., she passed when I was 14, so I decided to go there again.
And there I was under the Sacré Coeur and as soon as I felt the feeling of Paris, I started bawling my eyes out. But I knew this was going to happen and I allowed this to surface. I allowed myself to cry and to feel and experience those raw emotions. Then I walked down the stairs under the Sacré Coeur to the carousel, where I remember riding with her as a kid. So I jumped on the on the carousel and did not get off until a smile appeared on my face. I went round once and I was still crying. I went around the second time and at one point I felt free. I felt this big weight leave my chest. I felt relief. I experienced the feeling of letting go and feeling that everything would be okay. And at that point I realised that I had been in control of my suppressed emotions for 22 years.
I am choosing to share this with you because it was the most beautiful experience of self discovery in my adult life. To do this though, I had to do something very challenging because I know that as Einstein says: “If you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got.” So I decided to do something new. I took a leap of faith. And here I am today to invite you to take your leap of faith. To get out of your comfort zone. To try something that brings you closer to your dreams, because if you don’t, you are not going to reach your full potential. You will never be who you truly can be.
To get out of your comfort zone, you need to face your fears, because when you jump, there is no assurance that you are going to land on grass. There might be rocks and there might be a couple of scratches on the way. But trust me, it’s going to be worth it. My best decisions have come out by taking my leaps of faith.
So I will leave you with this key that’s made my life easier. When you don’t know what to do and when you are not sure how to go about making a decision or making a choice in life, I invite you to:
CHOOSE LOVE over fear.
Every time you make a decision, pause for a while and ask yourself whether this decision is coming from a space of love or from a space of fear. When you practice this every day, it starts becoming very simple. You know that it is right when it comes from a space of love.
When we choose from love, we will make things possible. We will make dreams come true for ourselves and for the people around us.
So today I invite you to choose LOVE over fear.